World's Oldest Fledgling

The blog of Stephanie Wardrop, Y A Author

From Elsker to Endre: Premarital counseling for the reluctant Norse god couple

on September 17, 2013

With the release of ST Bende’s Endre, the sequel to Elsker, fans can be part of the wedding between Ull Myrh, hot Norse god with a penchant for cashmere, and Kristia Tostenson, the mortal who captured his heart and his hammer.

Image If you recall, in past blog posts Ull and Kristia stopped by the blog and met the main characters from Snark and Circumstance. Today, they stop by with their answers to an offer for premarital counseling from the prestigious Longbourne Institute for Marital Happiness and as you can see, while they may not have taken the questions as seriously as they might have, these two are still cute as a button together:

SO YOU THINK YOU WANT TO MARRY?

A quick questionnaire for the Norse god couple before their nuptials

Ah, love! There’s nothing like it. But marriages cannot survive on love alone, so we at the Longbourne Institute for Marital Happiness suggest that you, as a couple, answer the following questions before booking a church or other place of worship (or even hightail it to the county clerk’s office).

How do you envision dividing household tasks? Fifty-fifty? Each according to his/her needs and talents? Traditional gender split?

Ull: Darling?

Kristia: You do all the work and I eat all the McVities?

Ull: Naturally.

Kristia: *giggles* Okay. Well, you do the ironing. Obviously.

Ull: Obviously. Kristia never learned to iron. It is her one flaw.

Kristia: Sadly. But I’ll do the cooking. I like to cook for you.

Ull: The grill is my territory.

Kristia: Fair enough. I’ll rock-paper-scissors you for the toilet cleaning.

Ull: What, now?

Kristia: Never mind.

Ull: We’ll split the cleaning, how’s that?

Kristia: Perfect.

Ull: I will clean the tall things. Shorty.

Kristia: Good one.  *shakes head*

How would you describe your social style? Are you similar or different in regard to entertaining, having people over, etc.? Do you both like to go out a few times a week? Or do you prefer to hole up in your mutual lair?

Kristia: Ull’s a holer-upper. Definitely.

Ull: You and I go out.

Kristia: Well, that’s true. And you go to rugby games with Gunnar. And the driving range. And fishing. But you’re not a “let’s have a house party” kind of guy.

Ull: Are you?

Kristia: Well, no.

Ull: So we are reservedly social, how does that sound?

Kristia: That’s about right. We have a small group of close friends, we like going on hikes and picnics. And on occasion, Ull does something crazy like take me to a club.

Ull: Sorry, sweetheart. Once you are my wife the only thing I will want to do is hole up in our mutual lair. Get ready.  

Kristia: *blushing* Stop it! *turns to counselor* He doesn’t mean that. Sorry.

Ull: *mutters* I do too mean it.

Kristia: What’s the next question?

Most arguments in marriage are sparked by finances. Who will be the primary breadwinner? What is his/her job? Is it likely to last as long as your relationship or are you planning on living on love?

Kristia: *turns to Ull* You better tell the good counselor for both of us. You have more experience explaining your job than I do. *whispers to Ull* Does he know you’re a god?

Ull: *whispers back* I have no idea. *straightens up* I am, eh, in the military. I have tremendous job security. My job will last an eternity, as will our love.

Kristia: Aw!

Ull: So money is not a concern. Next question?

How would you describe your saving and spending habits as individuals? As a couple? (You can start by discussing who is paying for the wedding).

Ull: *grins* We are paying for the wedding ourselves. It will be fairly simple, unless Inga ignores us completely. And I have had a really long time to save up.

Kristia: I’ll say. *smiles* What was the rest of the question?

Ull: Spending habits. Sweetheart?

Kristia: Oh. I’m not a huge spender. New boots every fall, copious amounts of McVities, but that’s about it.

Ull: For now. I am thisclose to giving Inga my black Amex and having her make you shop. First stop the Apple Store. For an iPhone.

Kristia: I don’t want an iPhone.

Ull: I do not think they even make flip phones anymore. You have to move forward sometime.

Kristia: *lifts chin* We’ll cross that bridge when my phone dies.

Children: 2.5 or more?

Kristia: I’d love a big family. But we’re not sure if we’ll be able to have any kids. And that’s okay — if it comes down to a choice between Ull and anything else, I’ll always choose Ull.

Ull: We have a . . . unique situation. Ideally, we would both like to have as many children as we can. But we will have to see what The Fates have in store for us.

Do you plan to raise your children according to the tenets of a particular religion? Which one (Church of Asgard? Reformed? Anything anti-Loki?)

Ull: We attend the Norse Seaman’s Church when we are in Cardiff. If we are lucky enough to have children, we will raise them in that faith.

Kristia: We’ll have to find a branch wherever we settle after the wedding, but we really like being close to the Scandinavian community. And they make the best waffles.

Ull: I thought I made the best waffles.

Kristia: Oops. You do. They make the second best waffles. Mmm . . . church waffles.

Ull: And jam. *raises eyebrow*

Kristia: *blushes* Next question?

In the event of Ragnarok and your mutual destruction, who will look after the children?

Kristia and Ull: Gunnar and Inga. *they smile at each other*

Kristia: That was easy.

Ull: *leans over to kiss her* Being with you always is.

Kristia: Aw. Jeg elsker deg.

Ull: I love you too, darling. *turns to counselor* Can we please go now?

Remember that counseling appointments are available every weekday and alternate Saturdays at the Longbourne Institute. Help us help you.

You’ll have to get a copy of Endre at Amazon or Barnes and Noble to see how well Inga manages the wedding budget. And if you run across any extra McVities biscuits, send them here.

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2 responses to “From Elsker to Endre: Premarital counseling for the reluctant Norse god couple

  1. ST Bende says:

    Thanks for letting the happy couple come play!

  2. Aww! I love Ull! He’s such a sweet husband…now – to make MY husband read and act more like Ull. There’s a lengthy project!

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